Friday, September 15, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!!!!!

Better early than late.  Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

sneakerheads

by gay, I mean that they deserve the same civil liberties as others, to include marrying a Japanese import remix 1993 Nike Aggassi CourtFource mid in gold lame with hot pink mesh and urban camoflauge lasting and a spelling error on the tongue tag?  Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

NPR2DAY

if only I drove a volvo.....  Posted by Picasa

Monday, September 11, 2006

Guest Comic by Dru of Postcardpress




Postcardpress was Dru's livejournal comic/blog. She can draw well. She needs to either finish her zine or start another site.

Friday, September 08, 2006

My farts smell like cherries

NO THEY DO NOT, THIS IS A LIE. NO VEGAN'S FARTS SMELL LIKE ANYTHING OTHER THAN CORPSES. 
Guest comic by my wife, Lindsay Velociraptor. Please take note of the Angel wings. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Lepidopterist

Randall is a crative guy, he writes, plays instruments, produces, and I'm sure he does some cool stuff that I know nothing about. Randall is a talented fire eater. i asked him if he would contribute to guest artist week, and he said yes, but that he couldn't draw. I can't draw either, as you have seen, so he wrote a short story, and I love it. Here it is:


The Lepidopterist

What else could he have done? With all the traffic on the street, Gavin wasn't even going the speed limit of 25. He saw the basketball enter the street from the sidewalk, out from an alleyway, and before he could make the connection between ball and boy, the child single-mindedly appeared in the street after the ball. The child didn't even have time to turn and see his SUV before it muscled over him - beating him down like a playground bully. There was only the slightest squeal of tires but it was too late even before his foot bore down on the brake pedal.

Screams and yelling, hands waving and finger pointing followed. There were stares - gazes angry, disbelieving, shocked, and scared. All this energy trained on him, his SUV, and the child, unconscious, trembling in acute shock.

Gavin was a lepidopterist - a scientist who specializes in the study of butterflies, moths and similar insects. He was on his way to a lecture and presentation at a private elementary school. In the back of his SUV was a box containing a dozen monarch butterflies - Danaus plexippus.

These butterflies lay their eggs on the milkweed plant. They feed on this plant and their bodies glean and store bitter chemicals known as cardenolides from its sap. Any given bird will only attempt to eat a monarch caterpillar or butterfly once because even if it can get past the bitter, pungent taste, the endless vomiting that follows will drive home the point that this insect, defenseless as it appears, is not to be reckoned with.

As the din of the crowd grew, Gavin was stunned. What's the protocol in a case like this? As a man of science, he knew that there were ways that things were done - procedures that both maintained order and ensured repeatable, verifiable experimental results - without which science could not go forward. This kind of deterministic certainty crept into every area of his life and while it made for a quiet, peaceful life, it also induced a kind of paralysis in unfamiliar situations, and certainly, this was one of them.

Questions, questions, questions. "Should I back up? What if the child is behind the front wheels? Should I get out? What will this do to my insurance? Can I be held at fault? What about the lecture at the school? Who are all these people? What will I say? Why now? Why me? Why do things always go so wrong? Oh my God, did I just kill a child?"

The questions continue to rattle through his mind and he lets them bounce off of one another. As if by instinct alone, he leaves the engine running, opens the door, gets out of the SUV, and braces himself before bending down to see what he's done. There are already a couple of bystanders looking underneath the chassis. They are calling out to the kid and he takes this to be a good sign until he sees the pool of blood darkening the asphalt.

One of the wonders of the monarch butterfly is its migration pattern. In the fall, these tiny insects make their way from Canada and the northern most of the United States down to the slopes of Sierra Madre Del Sur in southern Mexico - a journey of over three thousand miles. What makes this journey even more miraculous is the fact that the butterflies who migrate north are not the same ones that migrated south the year before. In fact, the entire round trip can encompass up to seven generations, most of whom mate and die along the northern leg of the journey. As the end of summer approaches, a special generation of butterfly is born - one whose life-span is up to eight times longer than that of their grandparents. This is the generation that makes the long haul down south to escape the bitter winter cold.

Of course the big mystery is how this last generation knows the way back to the homeland of their great-great-great-great-grandparents - a place they've never seen before. Gavin likes to believe that butterflies pass the secrets of this journey on to their offspring through song. He imagines the butterflies singing to one another about an odyssey of epic proportions as they fly ever northward. And he pictures the southbound flyers marveling at the way the song that they've had ingrained into them through repetition guides them on their way back to the mountains of Mexico.

Peering under the vehicle, Gavin can see that the boy is still alive but in very bad shape. He has no medical training but he can see signs of trauma everywhere along the boy's misshapen body. Another man runs up to the scene and introduces himself as a doctor - an oncologist, but a doctor nevertheless. He accesses the scene and barks an order to Gavin telling him to back his car up slowly.

He nods and gets back into his SUV. He puts it in reverse and backs right into the car behind him - a subcompact hatchback. Its hood buckles as crumple points in the front end give way. Gavin guns his engine and manhandles the little car back against its will. The woman behind the wheel doesn't sound her horn but she doesn't lay off of her brakes either. Satisfied that he's made enough room for the doctor and child, he parks his SUV halfway on top of the lady's hood.

He's done all that he can. There's nothing left to do but to let the life of this accident play itself out. It's all out of his hands. He shuts off the engine and watches the drama unfold in front of him through the window. Fire trucks, ambulance, police, first responders. Questionings, reports, no accusations, thankfully, but the guilt comes anyway. His cell phone rings. It's the school asking him where he is.

The details of butterfly migration are a mystery. The metamorphosis from larval form (caterpillar) into pupa and finally into butterfly is nothing short of a miracle. Once encased in its chrysalis, a radical, comprehensive transformation takes place. It begins with a process called histolysis which breaks down much of the caterpillar's tissue into a kind of gelatinous soup. Not everything is destroyed. Spared are the internal organs as well as a special set of cells called histoblasts. These cells are instrumental in building new body parts - legs, compound eyes, antenna, and proboscis, to name just a few - through a process called histogenesis. The wings actually begin developing from the first larval stages. Much of the wings' formation occurs within the caterpillar's body, but during metamorphosis, they grow exponentially and adhere themselves to the outer cuticle.

Once this transformation is complete, the (now) butterfly breaks through the chrysalis and emerges wet with crumpled wings. It clings to what's left of the chrysalis as it pumps hemolymph (insect blood) through its body, basically inflating its wings. After about an hour (depending on surrounding temperature and humidity), the wings harden into a rigid structure that enables flight. The horny butterfly takes to the air, eager to migrate and to mate.

Two weeks later, Gavin pays a visit to the boy's house bearing one small gift. His bruises have faded and broken bones are mending behind plaster casts. No hard feelings between any of the parties involved. Gavin sets a small cage on the boy's bureau. He points out the tiny green chrysalis attached to a twig and tells him that if he listens quietly and closely enough, he just might hear traces of the song of migration - a tune three thousand miles long.

Randall's writing archive
Randall'd Blog. It's very pithy. It is and always has been in the blog links to the right side of this page. You never noticed, did you?

Monday, September 04, 2006

Agnostic Love

Sunday, September 03, 2006

mewmew

It works itself into my typing : There will be a mandatory MEEEROWWW FSSSSK safety meeting on Thursday REEEEEE-EROWWW in the process-control Room. Mewmew.  Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 02, 2006

scarface the movie not scarface the rapper


Also, rappers, while on the subject, misoginy sucks, homophobia sucks, the N word sucks, john madden games suck, and grilles suck.  Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 01, 2006

30 seconds late

I value punctuality. I value it so much, that I did not stop to pour water on a baby on fire this one time, and the baby grew up, and guess what? It was routinely late for everything, using his 80% burn coverage as a crutch, no, rather as a force field to keep people away. He slept in a bed of sand. Ironically, he owned a small chain of candle shops, called the Toasty Tommy Candle Shack  Posted by Picasa